


Insomnia

by tbat



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Circumstances Of Pyra's Creation headcanons coming in swinging here, F/M, implied spoilers for chapter 7 but look you guys have all finished the game right, mythra is mentioned but asleep for plot convienience, oh no the angst train has come rolling into town, rex is Emotionally Supportive of Pyra, slipped in some fluff too cause i can't help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbat/pseuds/tbat
Summary: One night in Indol, Rex notices that Pyra can't sleep. Offering his help, he learns a little more about the burden she has to bear.





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> whoof okay, this little dollop of angsty hell took some doing to get out and it's probably pretty rough. feel free to point out any issues. this takes place around chapter 5 during some unspecified night.

Pyra had problems sleeping.

Rex had heard her mention it in passing quite a few times, ever since they'd met. How she'd struggled to fall asleep the previous night, or that she was feeling a little tired that morning. More often than not, she'd start apologizing to him- for not being in peak condition during fights, or not pulling her weight enough. Every time, he'd assure her it wasn't an issue, that it wasn't her fault, and that she was doing fine anyway- which she usually was. At first, he hadn't put too much thought into why she slept so poorly so often, chalking it up to her just being...naturally an insomniac, or something along those lines.

As he'd gotten to know her better, though, and learnt what little he knew of her and Mythra's pasts, Rex had begun to understand it was something more than that. That there were things keeping her awake. Things her mind couldn't let go of, things that ensured she'd have yet another sleepless night.

Tonight seemed to be one of those nights.

They'd arrived in Indol earlier that day, and a room had quickly been arranged for them to stay in for the night. Unlike every other time they'd stayed at an inn, where the party had mutually agreed to split rooms between boys and girls, the Indolians had insisted rather firmly on Drivers and Blades staying in the same room.

The prospect of sharing a room with Pyra had been...nervewracking, to say the least. Nia had not helped matters by elbowing him in the ribs and whispering "ooh, sharin' a room already?" when they were handed their keys. And then doing the same thing to Pyra, who reacted about as well as he had.

That initial embarassment had soon worn off, though. Once nighttime had arrived, he was far more relaxed about the whole affair. Being around Pyra oftentimes made Rex feel at ease, provided they avoided comments like Nia's. She had such a naturally calming presence that, by the time they were ready to go to bed, it just didn't matter to him anymore.

It had started maybe an hour ago. Every now and then, he'd hear her fidgeting, tossing around from side to side. Her movements were far too erratic for it to simply be her moving in her sleep, or trying to move to a more comfortable position. It was the first time he'd ever seen her problems sleeping in person, rather than just hearing about them the next morning. He couldn't help but lie awake alongside her, worrying over it.

He didn't know what was wrong, or what he could even do for her. But it didn't sit right with him, knowing she was that close by, that someone he cared about was struggling with something, whatever it might be, and not doing anything to help her. He felt like he had to do  _something_ , even if it was just...distracting her for a while. Getting her mind off of it. Even if it only helped a tiny bit, he wanted to do that much for her, at least.

He pushed his sheets to one side, his bare feet gently pressing against the carpeted floor as he stood up. He approached Pyra's bed, trying to keep his movements slow and quiet. While he obviously wasn't going to wake her up, she was facing away from him, towards the wall, and was probably lost in her thoughts. She wasn't going to see him coming, and he didn't want to startle her too much by making a loud noise. Once he was close enough, he crouched down so his head was level with hers.

"Hey, Pyra?" he called out softly.

Despite his best efforts, she jolted slightly at the unexpected sound, rolling onto her side to face him. Though obscured by the loose nightshirts they were both wearing, the light shining from their shared Cores allowed Rex to just about make out her face amidst the darkness. Her eyes had a distant, almost vacant dullness to them that confirmed his suspicions- whatever was keeping her up, she must've been totally focused on it, her thoughts consumed by it.

"What's wrong, Rex?" she said, her voice as quiet as his.

"Nothing's wrong with me, but...are you okay?" he asked, "I mean, you can't sleep, right?"

Her breath hitched for an instant.

"I'm...I'm fine, Rex. You don't have to worry about me." She glanced away from him, shrinking slightly under her sheets. "I'm...keeping you up, aren't I? Sorry," she added. He could tell she was already trying to change the subject. He shook his head, inching closer to her bed.

"That doesn't matter, alright?" He took a deep breath, deciding to just be direct with her. "Something's bothering you, isn't it?"

"Well, I..." She began, before quickly trailing off. Whatever she'd wanted to say, she must've forced herself to stop.

"We can talk about it, y'know? If you want to, that is," he said, smiling in an attempt to make her feel at ease. "Maybe it'll help."

"Rex, I...I appreciate it, I do, but really, you don't have to-"

"But I  _want_ to," he interrupted, "I told you before, didn't I? I wanna help you get past this. I'm...I'm your Driver, right? We're supposed to look out for each other. So, whatever it is, you can tell me."

Pyra fell silent, her face contorting into an uncertain frown. After a few moments, she made her decision, nodding at Rex.

"Alright. Just a little bit though, okay? I don't want you losing too much sleep over me."

"Just a little," he repeated.

This was so like her.  _She's_ the one who needs help and all she can think about is how it might inconvienience  _him_.

It wasn't a bad thing, how considerate, how  _selfless_ she was. Her kindness and compassion were one of the things he liked- well,  _loved_ the most about her, even if he had difficulty fully admitting it was love. But, it was almost like she barely considered herself  _worth_ worrying about. If nothing else, Rex hoped tonight would at least help her realize she  _was_ worth it- that people cared about her,

Slowly, Pyra pushed herself upwards and moved her sheets aside. Now sitting up on her bed, she leaned against the wall behind her, her legs crossed tightly underneath her.

She lightly patted the empty space next to her, beckoning Rex over. Once he'd sat down, he looked over at her, noticing how... _tense_ she seemed. Her shoulders were stiff and slightly hunched, her head tilted downwards and her eyes focused on the mattress beneath her, rather than looking at him.

Once again she fell silent for a moment, before eventually sighing and looking over to Rex.

"It's...hard to cope, sometimes," she said quietly, speaking with a slow, deliberate cadence, as though she was carefully arranging her speech word-by-word.

She paused briefly. Rex nodded at her, urging her to keep going. Her eyes slowly closed, her head drifting back downwards as she began to speak.

"Every night, no matter what I do, even if I don't  _want_ to, the only thing I can think about is...what happened back then. Everything Mythra saw.  _Did._ It's all burnt so deeply into my mind, and I can't forget any of it, and...and I wish I could. I wish I didn't have to see...all those horrible things." Her hands clenched tightly onto the sheet underneath, the fabric just barely keeping her nails from digging into her palms. "I'm just...tired. Both of us are. Tired of these memories. Of the pain. It's...always been this way, ever since she created me."

As she spoke, Pyra's voice gradually grew shakier, the words coming out even slower than they had when she'd begun. Her shoulders sagged as her grip on the sheets loosened. She paused, breathing deep as she composed herself.

"When Mythra created me, I...I felt  _all_ of it. All her sadness, her guilt, rushing into me at once. I...didn't understand what was happening. I barely even knew who I  _was_ , and the first thing I ever experienced, that I felt was just...overwhelming pain. Pain that's never left me. For the last five hundred years, I've had  _nothing_. Nothing to do, nothing to think about, except those memories. Mythra sealed herself off before I went to sleep, so there was...nobody to share it with. Just me.

Sometimes, I still feel that way. Like I did back then. There are days when it's not so bad, but...it's always there, in the back of my mind. And I wish- we both wish- I could forget it, be free of it, I wish I could just-" she abruptly cut herself off, biting down on her lip. "I don't...want something like that to ever happen again," she murmured, her eyes downcast, the first drops of tears beginning to well up at their edges.

Having finished, Pyra sat quietly for a moment. Her shoulders were slumped and her head tilted downwards. She looked  _drained._ Rex supposed that was to be expected. For someone as naturally reserved as Pyra, actually  _talking_ about something she'd held in for so long must have been a challenge, to put it mildly. He could hardly blame her if she felt mentally exhausted after all that. She was probably trying to recharge before speaking any further.

But he knew there was more. Rex had known her long enough by now to notice when Pyra was...not  _lying_ , exactly, but holding something back. The moments where she'd fall silent, or Gramps would awkwardly chime in and change the subject when an uncomfortable question came up.

What she'd said had already been...hard to process. He could barely begin to imagine what she'd been through, how she felt. And yet, it was obvious, just from the way she'd been talking, so stilted and deliberate. Even after all that, she still hadn't told him everything.

But she'd told him this much. More than she'd ever been willing to say before. She was making progress, even if it was only a small amount.

With a deep sigh, Pyra broke the lingering silence. Her head rose up slightly as she tried to meet Rex's gaze again.

"Sorry. That was probably...hard for you to listen to."

Rex shook his head slowly.

"Don't apologize. It was a lot to take in, sure, but...I'm really glad you told me," he said with a kind smile, "I know opening up like this is hard for you."

"It's not something I'm used to," she said, forcing a smile of her own onto her face. As quickly as it appeared, though, it was replaced by an anxious frown. "I'm sorry, I just...I don't want to worry you or be a burden, that's all."

"You're  _not_ a burden," Rex said firmly. "Look, Pyra, of course I'm gonna worry about you. I'd worry about you even if you didn't tell me  _anything,_ 'cause..." he trailed off, trying to choose his next words carefully. His face flushed a bright red he hoped she wouldn't notice.

"Well, I...I really care about you. You're important to me, Pyra. A-And I know it's hard, and I can't really imagine what you've been through, but I want to help you. It doesn't have to be all at once, we can take it slowly, go through it bit by bit, but..." He pushed past the embarassment, looking into her eyes with a serious expression. "I want you to...to be happy. To feel like you  _can_ be happy. And I'll help you for as long as it takes until you get there. If you ever need me, I'm...I'm here for you, alright? Even if you just need someone to listen to you."

"R-Rex, that's...thank you. That means a lot to me," Pyra said, placing a hand to her chest. By this point, her face was burning a bright red as well, although Rex noticed she was finally smiling a genuine, warm smile, even if it was only a small one. "To be honest, I  _do_ feel a little better."

"Glad to hear it."

"Maybe we should get some sleep, though," she said, shifting her weight off of the wall and stretching her legs out, "I think I've probably kept you up long enough."

"Are you sure?" Rex asked with a concerned frown, "We can keep going, if you want."

"I'll be  _fine,_ Rex. Come on, you deserve some sleep," she said, gesturing towards his own bed.

Rex slid off the side of her bed slowly, reluctant to leave her alone. What if she  _did_ need to talk more and was just being...well, herself? Suffering alone when she didn't have to? He didn't want to just take her at her word when he knew she kept things to herself so often.

Still, she'd put in a lot of effort opening up as much as she had, and she  _did_ look a little happier. Maybe she  _was_ fine now, at least for tonight. He gave her one last glance, concern etched on his face.

"Alright, but...if you need me, I'm here, okay?"

"I know, Rex. Good night," she said, her smile widening a little. He smiled back at her before turning away.

He made his way back to his bed, mulling over their conversation. All in all, he felt like it had gone well. Pyra had been willing to share just a little bit more with him. Not  _everything ,_ a fact which bothered him, certainly, but...well, he couldn't blame her if she didn't feel ready to go that far just yet. It'd no doubt take a while, but Rex was determined to help her, no matter how long it took them. How, though? His mind sifted through possibiity after possibility, searching for a way to help her, to do something  _more_ for her than what they'd done tonight.

It completely consumed his thoughts, to the point that he barely even registered the faint creaking of a bed, or the light footsteps approaching him from behind. The moment he reached the edge of his bed, a pair of arms slid in front of him, pulling him into a sudden and tight embrace, a gentle warmth pressing up against his back. Rex let out a short yelp of surprise at the sudden sensation, looking down at the two slender arms laying against his chest in confusion. It took him a moment to realize it could only really be one person.

"P-Pyra?"

Her hug tightened in response.

"I just wanted to say...thank you, Rex," she whispered, her head leaning down just close enough to prod against his shoulder.

"Huh?"

"For tonight. I truly appreciate it." Her head tilted closer to his own, her hair lightly brushing against his cheek as she spoke.

"O-oh, that? It's no problem, j-just...y'know, looking out for you," he babbled, trying to calm himself. The sudden hug had caught him off-guard, to put it mildly, and he really wasn't sure what to do about how  _close_ she was. It certainly wasn't _unwelcome,_ being this close to Pyra, but...well, he'd have preferred a little more time to mentally prepare beforehand.

"I know you are, and...it means a lot to me. I'm glad I met someone as kind as you, Rex. I couldn't ask for a better Driver."

With a parting squeeze Pyra released Rex from the hug, putting a couple of steps' worth of distance between them afterwards. Her face was flushed red, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked off to the side, avoiding his gaze. Rex took some small solace in the fact that this had been embarassing for her too. And that they were both trying not to look too hard at the other.

"Sorry about that," she said with a nervous laugh. "I just, um...wanted you to know how grateful I am."

"Uh...i-it's fine. Thanks, Pyra," he mumbled, fidgeting slightly on the spot.

He stared at the floor for a moment, an awkward silence falling between the two of them as he struggled to find something  _better_ than that. There were...a lot of things he wanted to say to her. That he'd always be there when she needed him. That he knew there were things she was still holding back. That she could talk to him about  _anything,_ no matter what it was, and he'd accept it.

That, truth be told, he loved her. Not that he could even  _begin_ to tell her that. He could barely even admit that to  _himself_ sometimes, insisting to himself that she was just his Blade, his  _friend_ , not anything more.

Nonetheless, he wanted to show her how much he cared about her. And if  _Pyra_ had decided to show how she felt with a hug, then...

Wordlessly, Rex began to walk towards Pyra, his face completely red with embarassment at what he was about to do, but still smiling fondly at her. Before Pyra could react, he flung his arms around her and pulled her in as close as he could manage. Pyra gasped in surprise, arms stiff and straight at her sides.

"R-Rex? What are you...?" she tried to speak before quickly faltering. Her body stayed completely still, as if she was afraid to move. A part of him was a little amused that she was taking this about as well as he had handled her own hug, but really, he was hoping she'd relax a little bit.

"Hey, Pyra?" Rex said quietly, his head lightly resting against her shoulder as he held onto her. "

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm glad I met you, too. And not just 'cause you saved my life." Despite her nervousness, Pyra laughed a little at this. "You...mean a lot to me, Pyra. I care about you. So...don't forget that I'm with you, okay? No matter what."

"I feel the same way, Rex. You're...very important to me, too."

Pyra began to relax in his arms, her own finally leaving her sides and wrapping back around Rex, returning the hug. Neither of them spoke, content to quietly enjoy each other's company for the moment.

In the comfortable silence, Rex was at last able to really appreciate now... _nice_ this was. Pyra was incredibly warm, of course. That was just part of being a Fire Blade. And yet, as intense as the fire burning inside her body must have been, it felt so  _gentle,_ so  _soothing._ Holding her, being held  _by_ her, made Rex feel completely, totally...safe. When they fought together, he felt like he could do anything with her by his side, but holding onto each other made him feel as though nothing could ever  _hurt_ them, either.

Soon enough, though, he felt Pyra begin to pull away from him, though she had an affectionate smile on her face that reassured him she had at least enjoyed the moment as well.

"So, uh...ready to go to bed?" Rex asked with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head.

"I think so, yeah," she said, giggling. She clasped both her hands to her chest. "Thank you, Rex. For everything."

"Don't mention it. Just...you can tell me anything, okay? It doesn't matter what it is."

For a fraction of a second, Rex thought he saw a brief flicker of...something, when she'd heard those words. The hint of a forced smile, a pained, almost  _guilty_  look in her eyes. As quickly as he'd noticed it, though, it was gone, replaced with her usual kind expression.

"Of course. Good night, Rex."

"Night, Pyra."

With that, Rex finally climbed into bed, sinking back beneath the sheets. For the next few minutes, he forced himself to stay awake, listening out for any sounds from Pyra. Soon enough, though, all he could hear was the soft, rhythmic sound of her breathing.

She'd fallen asleep. It had actually worked.

A tiny grin of satisfaction spread across his face. They had a lot more to do, obviously, but...he'd helped her, even if it was just a little bit. He considered that good progress. Still, he couldn't help wondering what else it was she was still hiding. What she just wouldn't tell him.

He hoped one day, she'd trust him enough to tell him everything. No matter what it might be.


End file.
